Bunny Blasphemy
by KazeRose
Summary: There are some things in this world that should not be seen by anyone. One thing being a soul-hungry mint-green flying bunny.


"_**Bunny Blasphemy"**_

_**A/N: Once more, I have been prompted. And this time, the outcome is a ridiculously crackish, out of character one-shot. It's…I…what even. I don't even. I can't. What even is air? I mean really. What I wrote here…I'm not even sure what the classify it as, tread carefully, dear readers. You have been warned.**_

_**Prompt: World Meeting where everyone can see Flying Mint Bunny.**_

_**WARNING: RIDICULOSULY OUT OF CHARACTER ENGLAND. BEWARE OF STUPIDITY.**_

* * *

An awkward silence stretched across the large, fancily decorated meeting room. Every nation present stared, slack-jawed, at the odd creature floating next to the already deemed insane England's head. No words were uttered, only silence and the oddly timed casual cough were heard. No one dared move, not sure whether to believe what their eyes and brains told them they saw.

Was…

Was that a flying…mint-green bunny giggling and smiling next to England's head?

Or had they all finally gone insane?

France cleared his throat first, sitting up a bit straighter. " Angleterre…?" he said, his voice cracking at the end of England's French uttered name. "Who is that strange…" He looked to Spain and Prussia for help, both just shrugged. "…Being?"

England perked up, setting his tea down. "You can see him!"

Everyone remained quiet, but France once again took the reigns. "Oui… and I am curious as to…" Once more, he turned to his friends. By this point, Spain was just messing with his cellphone and tugging on Romano's hand, while Gilbert pretended not to notice. "As to who or…what it is."

The island nation, normally subjected to supposedly splendid isolation just beamed brighter and brighter, his green eyes lighting up. He opened his mouth to speak before he was interrupted by the creature by his head.

"I'll tell you who I am!" It chirped and everyone just stared. Germany fell out of his seat. Spain flinched somewhat and Romano just groaned, burying his face into the Spaniard's shoulder, whacking at his arm harshly.

"I, " Stated the little fuzzy green thing. "I am Flying Mint Bunny!"

England began to clap ecstatically. "Brilliant!"

An eruption of groans spread across the room like wildfire only to be halted by America's annoying laugh. "Ahahahaha!" He chortled. "A-Ahahaa! I…it's green!"

"No shit." Romano grumbled.

Spain got up quietly, every nation turning towards the Spaniard as he walked towards the bunny. Silently, he snagged it by its ears and brought it to his face. "I….you…why…?"

Flying Mint Bunny just stared into Spain's emerald eyes. And the Spaniard stared back. This continued on for no less than five minutes before the Spaniard finally twitched in some unknown fit of rage and swung his wrist as if getting ready to throw a grenade. He chucked the mint-green bunny through the window, glaring at it with such ferocity even Switzerland squeaked.

England looked horrified. "You Spanish dog what did you do?"

"You just keep proving to us that you're insane! That thing was _GREEN _and _FLYING." _Spain stammered, pointing an accusing finger at the newly created hole in the glass.

"He's a living being!" England cried.

"It's a flying bunny! Those aren't supposed to exist! Correction: They _**DON'T **_ exist!" Spain argued back, more flustered than he probably should have been. Germany simply groaned from his spot on the floor. He perked up a bit as he noticed a pair of green feathers flapping up from outside the newly-broken window.

Everyone fell silent once again as the slightly beaten bunny resumed its spot on the table. It panted slightly in tiredness before speaking in a low voice. "I was told so many times not to… So… Many…. Times." It's eyes started to flare red as it looked over to the Englishman for approval for some dastardly plan.

England nodded 'yes' solemnly as the rabbit turned once more to the crowd.

"FINALLY!" It roared. "I GET TO EAT YOUR _**SOULS**_!"

A huge black hole seemed to rip into the table as the bunny's mouth stretched open, making a tearing noise that was almost deafening.

Everyone screeched and Italy and Germany screamed like little girls, clinging onto one another and sobbing against the others shoulder.

The rest was a blur. A flash of red everywhere. Body parts flying in random directions. Everything ended with one more deafening screech from the bunny's receding black hole.

Everything was silent once more. The room was empty, save for a few strewn papers and England, chuckling to himself. The bunny also started to giggle, happily. "Good job little rascal. You bloody did it." They laughed maniacally together into the dark night sky.

* * *

Spain woke up, tears streaming down his face, a high-pitched scream ripping itself from his throat. "OH GOD WHY? "

His partner bolted up, the Italian rubbing his eyes. "Antonio…? What…?"

The Spaniard flung himself onto Romano, clinging tightly to the Southern Italian. "HE TOOK OUR SOULS!" He wailed, burying his face against Lovino's shoulder. "It was horrid! There w-was a black hole…! And l-laughing! And, Por Dios, why did I have to chuck that stupid, squeaky bunny out the God damned window…?"

Romano sat awkwardly, rubbing soothing circles into Antonio's back, giving his temple the occasional kiss. "Erm…" He rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "It's alright…? Antonio…" Spain shook his head, sobbing against Lovino's bare chest. "Antonio." Lovino tried again, his voice much firmer.

"He took our souls dammit! That's blasphemy!"

"I don't…" Romano started, but gave up quickly, realizing he couldn't reason with the hysterical Spaniard. "Just calm down…you're alive, breathing, and…" he heaved a heavy sigh. "And you have your soul."

"What if God doesn't love me….?" Antonio wailed pitifully.

"God loves you."

"But the dream!" The Spaniard's voice cracked and he peeked up at Romano with teary eyes.

"Is just a dream…"

"But what if it means something?"

"It doesn't." Romano droned.

"B-but…!"

"ANTONIO!" Romano snapped, raising his voice, causing the troubled Spaniard to let go of his lover and shrink back against his headboard, rubbing at his tear-stained cheeks. "GO. THE. FUCK. TO. SLEEP."

"L-Lovi…"

"NOW!" Lovino hollered.

Antonio gave a short nod, wiggling his way back into the covers and finding his way into Romano's arms once more, snuggling close, craving that feeling of protection. "W-Will…will you protect me from mean, evil, batshit insane, soul-sucking bunnies?"

"Will it get you to sleep…?" Romano asked, running his fingers through Antonio's tangled brunette hair.

"S-Sí.." Spain whispered, sniffling quietly.

Lovino sighed, kissing Antonio's forehead. "Then yes. Now buenas noches y duerme bien…" Romano made certain to use Spanish instead of Italian, hoping to keep the Spaniard calm.

"Y tú también…" Spain murmured softly against Lovino, feeling his eyes get heavy and finally slide shut, much to Romano's delight.

And so the pair fell asleep once more, their soft breaths the only sound in the room. But little did they know, an Englishman sat outside the Spaniard's window, cackling quietly, yet evilly into the dark night sky. "Sweet dreams…._Antonio." _


End file.
